Mountains vs Mole Hills

My mother is a very wise woman (along with being a crafty-glitter extraordinaire, an excellent cook and might I add...a loyal reader).

Over the years her advice, (mostly warranted- aside from Tropical Storm Julianne, aka the College Years) has never failed me:

*Laughing until you cry is not just fun, it's necessary*
*There are no limits when it comes to love and forgiveness;
-So don't try to box 'em up!*
*Once a man decides she's worth it; He will move mountains to get to her*

Mountains? BUT WAIT. What if the chivalrous knight with his stallion and heavy armor can't climb the treacherous mountains? What if the peaks are too high, or the slope too slippery?

Mountains my friends; It's all about the Mountains-
(...And sometimes the Benjamins)

*Side note: I understand that "Mountains" is a metaphor for something BIG. Something that shows devotion, trust and effort. But for the sake of this blog and it's attempt to find humor in the little things, I'm going to share my most recent experience trying to watch an average civilian boy attempt a "Mountain-ness moment..." aka, the Pick-Up Line.


Setting: Post 'Girls Night' dance party- Me outside waiting for my group.

Random: (attempt at small talk) So...what are you up to tonight?

Me: Headed home, going to bed. *MOUNTAIN*

Random: Alone? *Attempt to budge said MOUNTAIN*

Me: Yep, just waiting on my friends *MOUNTAIN grows twice in size *

Random: That's no fun. Want to go to bed with me instead? *Attempt to line MOUNTAIN with dynamite*

Me: Uhhh, no buddy. I don't sleep around. *MOUNTAIN grows a force field*
...In fact. I'm a happily married woman. See? (Zoom in on the fake ring I wore on the prized Ring Finger to scare off unexpected evil) *Ladies, don't lie and say you don't have one of these!*

Random: Wow. Congratulations. *MOUNTAIN too high. Abort mission*

Me: Thanks. BIG wedding in September, it was really quite beautiful!

Random: I bet. Wow... Lucky guy.

*MOUNTAIN turns on her heels, and sighs in relief: High- five on the Defense*


And as for Random, I'm sure he's a nice guy, with a nice family and even a nice dog who finds him mildly charming...but for crying out loud, take my advice:


1. Find your guts, look yourself in the mirror and promise that you'll find a nice girl someday and ask her out for a meal (NOT a remake of last Thursday's Jersey Shore episode).
And 2. Don't be goin' around mistakin' my MOUNTAIN for just some mole hill. You're bound to get shot 'round these parts!