Repping the 99

Despite having majored in journalism and taking a minor in political science, I somehow find more joy in blogging about my personal life... versus yours. Interesting or sad?


Four years of homework, deadlines, essays and reading? We’ll go with interesting… it’s less sad.


Although the ‘flame’ for politics has simmered to now a mere spark since college, there will always be a little edge that I find fascinating about politics. Not so much the actual policies, but more about the people… and of course, the idea of being The One.

The idea that you don’t really have to win over the people, you just have to win them over more than the other guys. You don’t have to be the smartest, best looking, most educated candidate, you just have to be smarter and better looking than the Joe Schmoe next to you. It’s like the concept of being fast. You just have to be faster than the others to outrun the bear.

I’m going to try and say this without sounding too judgmental: But where I live, the Occupy Movement is a joke. Seriously. These folks have been sitting there for years; it’s just that now they have folding chairs and posters.

On the heels of a big election, and in the midst of this concept of “The 99%”- I came across this shirt and immediately knew it had blog potential.

If politicians want our vote, they need to make us feel special- make us feel like being in the 99% is just a figment of our imagination.

Kind of like dating.


If you’re one of those people that gets a little mushy in thinking about the idea of there being ONE person out there who’s sort of perfect for you- then dating is really just a means to an end.

It’s all a big gamble: Date until you find the person you’d like to share your nest with. Or for the guys: Someone you wouldn’t mind sharing your sandwich with.

"99% of everyone you date will not be right for you"

The idea of finding a person who after fifty-years, still makes you laugh, won’t judge you for deciding that at age eighty, you will eat ice cream every day because you can, and at the end of each day you don’t want to turn off your hearing aid to revel in silence.

So really… we’re all part of the 99%. We should all be rockin' the shirt. Even the fancy politicians sitting in their bathtubs full of money. Anyone dating, “browsing” or “online-shopping” is taking a gamble that 99% of every person they “try out” won’t make it to the finish line. For many of us, this may take a lifetime of several relationships and/or marriages…but it’s not to say that the 1% won’t come out of the woodwork eventually. People come in and out of your life for a reason.

Maybe they teach you something; maybe you teach them something. Perhaps they show you what forgiveness looks like; Maybe they bless you with the most beautiful child and then disappear because that's all they can give. Doesn't that make the 1% that much more worth it?

Heck, even the Bible talks about leaving the 99 sheep for the ONE that wandered away.
There’s just something about the potential.

I can see it now:

“Just Married” on the front
And “I am the 1%” on the back.

(Sounds like a cash cow to me)

Mountains vs Mole Hills

My mother is a very wise woman (along with being a crafty-glitter extraordinaire, an excellent cook and might I add...a loyal reader).

Over the years her advice, (mostly warranted- aside from Tropical Storm Julianne, aka the College Years) has never failed me:

*Laughing until you cry is not just fun, it's necessary*
*There are no limits when it comes to love and forgiveness;
-So don't try to box 'em up!*
*Once a man decides she's worth it; He will move mountains to get to her*

Mountains? BUT WAIT. What if the chivalrous knight with his stallion and heavy armor can't climb the treacherous mountains? What if the peaks are too high, or the slope too slippery?

Mountains my friends; It's all about the Mountains-
(...And sometimes the Benjamins)

*Side note: I understand that "Mountains" is a metaphor for something BIG. Something that shows devotion, trust and effort. But for the sake of this blog and it's attempt to find humor in the little things, I'm going to share my most recent experience trying to watch an average civilian boy attempt a "Mountain-ness moment..." aka, the Pick-Up Line.


Setting: Post 'Girls Night' dance party- Me outside waiting for my group.

Random: (attempt at small talk) So...what are you up to tonight?

Me: Headed home, going to bed. *MOUNTAIN*

Random: Alone? *Attempt to budge said MOUNTAIN*

Me: Yep, just waiting on my friends *MOUNTAIN grows twice in size *

Random: That's no fun. Want to go to bed with me instead? *Attempt to line MOUNTAIN with dynamite*

Me: Uhhh, no buddy. I don't sleep around. *MOUNTAIN grows a force field*
...In fact. I'm a happily married woman. See? (Zoom in on the fake ring I wore on the prized Ring Finger to scare off unexpected evil) *Ladies, don't lie and say you don't have one of these!*

Random: Wow. Congratulations. *MOUNTAIN too high. Abort mission*

Me: Thanks. BIG wedding in September, it was really quite beautiful!

Random: I bet. Wow... Lucky guy.

*MOUNTAIN turns on her heels, and sighs in relief: High- five on the Defense*


And as for Random, I'm sure he's a nice guy, with a nice family and even a nice dog who finds him mildly charming...but for crying out loud, take my advice:


1. Find your guts, look yourself in the mirror and promise that you'll find a nice girl someday and ask her out for a meal (NOT a remake of last Thursday's Jersey Shore episode).
And 2. Don't be goin' around mistakin' my MOUNTAIN for just some mole hill. You're bound to get shot 'round these parts!

The Valentine’s Day Miracle

Falling in love with the feeling of waking up slowly;
Having the kick-butt determination to hit the pavement and run;
And realizing that love sleeps at the foot of your bed.

It’s easy, as a single person, to give Valentine’s Day a hard time. But something about it this year…it just feels too easy. Like a cheap shot. Shut out game. Where’s the challenge?

Nothing is stopping us from actually enjoying the holiday from a chocolate induced coma. Why wait until November to realize what we’re thankful for? Shouldn’t every day spark something inside of us to say- “Hey. That’s kind of awesome.”

Here. I'll go first:
I’m thankful for the most fabulous group of friends I can think of. People ranging everywhere from childhood, to high school, to college and even kickball. All over the world. Far and wide: they’re never out of reach.

A friend of mine made a brave statement that will forever resonate with me:

“I’d rather be single with moments of loneliness-
Than in a miserable relationship, trying to find my way out.”

And haven’t we all been there? On the outside you have the makings and potential for greatness, but inside you know you’re settling with disappointment. Celebrating the single life can be as simple as patting yourself on the back for realizing you deserve greatness, and you're one step closer to finding it.

So here’s to you VDay- With your $16 billion dollar industry, overpriced chocolate and singing teddy bears that my dog will happily destroy...

Happy Valentine’s Day to my beautiful couples whose commitment continues to inspire me~

And Happy Galentine’s Day to the girls in my life who forever teach me what it means to be loved and how to show that in return.

Warning: Only Child Crossing

Question: Have you ever been on a first date and after telling the guy you're an only child, he wipes the terrified look off his face and says, "OH I've heard about you guys!"

I'm going to guess, "Probably not."

I've always found the idea of the "only child" very interesting. But lately, I've been a little more self-reflective on how it makes me who I am, both personally and in dating.

Ever heard of a man by the name of G. Stanley Hall?

Me neither.

Well apparently he had quite a bit to say back in the early 1900s regarding child development and psychology. Mr. Hall was a pioneer in American psychology and in my opinion, just an angry man who needed a blog. You see, Mr. Hall researched the traits and quirks of only children back in the day, and turns out, he wasn't a big fan. He actually referred to the group as "a disease in itself."

Sounds to me like Mr. Hall got dumped by a cute, blonde, only child in middle school. She ruined him for life.

I'm (obviously) an only child and despite having always felt somewhat 'in the dark' when it comes to the relationship between siblings, I've learned to make it work for me. Correction. I've learned to disguise the horrified look on my face in watching siblings bicker over toys, clothes, the bathroom, boys, etc.

Recently, I had an 'epiphany-like moment' wherein I realized that while I've made the most of this 'only child life' thing by having very close relationships with my friends and my parents, Mr. Hall might have a point. I of course don't see my life as being anything close to 'disease like,' but others might.

Others?

Men. Mr. Hall, in the 1900s, was referring to men.

And then my single self realized: Is it possible that the fate of my love life might be dangling on the fact that my parents chose "quality versus quantity?" (Their words, not mine). Could the behaviors that we learn as kids, but more specifically as only children, such as sharing, understanding personal space and balancing the attention of others make that much of a difference in the world of dating.

Being the product of a working, single mother (until I was seven) I was put in childcare at a very young age. I was thrown into a world where sharing was barter and easily making friends was a method for survival. Growing up, being an only child felt like some sort of secret society, now I just realize it's one big bullseye painted on my forehead. As a kid, people were jealous. You got your own bathroom and if you were lucky, didn't have to share the car. As an adult, it's quite a bit different. Former sibling rivalries are turning into loving, tight-knit relationships. All those years of conditioning, sharing, learning how to argue effectively and coping with criticism have finally paid off. Turns out, they're pretty lucky afterall.

Researching this topic has been really interesting: ranging everywhere from proving/debunking myths, understanding personality traits and analyzing relationships that are all product of these weird little creatures who, to the rest of the world, seem just a bit off. And as usual, the topic of dating has peeked my interest.

There are studies out there that prove your birth order can actually make or break the success of your realtionship. First born, middle child, youngest or only child. Everybody has a place in this world...some are just more compatible than others. According to this study, I am most compatible with the youngest male in a family with older sisters.

The male they've painted here sounds like a real gem. He seeks excitement and adventure in everything he does and most importantly, he understands women. He is drawn to the comfort of women and understands the importance of female empowerment. He sounds lovely. They should create a dating website based on birth order compatibility. Hmmm.

Naturally, I started thinking about my failed relationships. I've dated both a middle and the eldest, and both seem to have a commonality between them: How to put the "born" in stubborn. But it makes sense right? Kids with siblings HAVE to learn the language of criticism and teasing, how to argue, how to manipulate a situtation to get what they want...all things I've never quite gotten the hang of.

And then I realized it's true. Despite spending a chunk of my childhood in day care and therefore learning to share and haggle with others (because take it from me, they don't put up with sh*t in day care), and despite having had great female roommates from the ages of 18-24, I DO have to take into account that how I view relationships, space, fairness and attention come from an inherent characteristic of being an only child. And it's not just a matter of 'taking it into account', but also respecting the fact that there are certain things that will just come a little harder for me.

One day moving in with someone. Delegating. Sharing a closet, bathroom, money. Balancing my alone time. Sharing holidays. Sharing my family. It's very overwhelming.

And yet very intriguing...blog worthy even :)

***
For further reading:

While having only one child has never been considered much of a 'trend,' it's starting to gain speed in the Western cultures (and no, this is not a political blog looking to discuss the child-restriction laws in China, so don't even go there).
Time Magazine actually did an article recently on how more and more families are choosing to raise only one child due to the economic pressures our society faces. It's a good read: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2002530,00.html